Families should try to understand the Anxiety of Their Child 

Academician of European University of Lefke Faculty of Science and Literature Department of Psychology Dr. Cemaliye Direktör gave some recommendations to the families of the children who will start school.

Direktör said that, “Any kid who is new to the school environment can get a fright. It can be stated that, while some of these children do not want to go to the school on the first days, some of them do not want to go to the school after one or two weeks despite being happy at the school within the first weeks”. Direktör pointed out that in both cases families should not panic and that all parents should accept that the school is a new environment for the child and they should try to understand the anxiety of their child.

The Fear of School must be communed with the child

Giving recommendations on the child’s fear of school Direktör said that, “School which is a new environment for the child, turns into a dangerous place with the anxiety of the parents. The child may not want to go to school due to terrifying thoughts such as ‘Will my mom pick me up?’, ‘Will they be angry with me?’, ‘Will they hit me?’. These thoughts might be followed with crying, begging or physiologic problems such as stomach aches, nausea, vomiting, and high fever. The child must go to school every day. Every parent faces the question of “I don’t want to go to school today”. In any similar case, the parents should try to ease the pain of the child and send the child to the school. The separation anxiety of the child who is allowed to stay at home is stiffened. Little kids who cry a lot can be taken to the school step by step with increasing durations. The arrival time can be planned with the teacher in a way that it would catch the play time and later the activity time. The parents must be in cooperation with the teacher.  Rules teach the child to live together. Many children do not have problems in getting used to school. A small part has trouble. At this point, parents need to apply for a psychologist”.

Direktör stated that what parents need to do is accept that it is a child that they are dealing and they should try to understand the child. Direktör furthermore stated that it is important that the child’s fear of not wanting to go to the school should be communed and that it is important for his or her mother or father to take him/her from school and believe that nothing bad will happen to him/her in order to feel safe in school.

Making the school shopping together is of importance

Direktör said that “Making school preparations together makes it possible for the child to have both responsibility and knowledge”. Direktör pointed out that the discourse of “you are a grown up now” is implied to the child when the parents allow the child to choose his/her own pencils and bag and added that this right which is a very simple thing for the parents is an important step in the process of becoming an individual.

Children must be taken to the school by their mom or dad on the first day of the school

Direktör said that, “Children must be taken to the school by their mom or dad on the first day of the school. The one who is going to pick the child up from the school must be told to him/her beforehand. If there is a possibility of change, the child should be informed with a discourse such as ‘I will come to pick you up, but if my work takes a long time, your father will pick you up’. Faced surprises must not abuse the child’s trust”. Direktör remarked that the child’s desire to learn starts at home and continues at school, and added that setting an example for the child makes it easier for the child to adapt to the school.

Direktör said that, “Instead of asking the child ‘What did you do at the school today’ the parents should use a discourse which will strengthen their bond such as “Sing me a song that you learned today, so that I can learn as well’, or ‘what games did you play with your friends today’”. Direktör also pointed out that when the parents talk about their own memories it is more effective than preaching, and added that by this means children feel that their mom and dad understand them.

Homework belongs to the child

Direktör said that, “Homework belongs to them. “We” did not start to school “the child” did. Children who are given the opportunity to succeed gain work habits. Expectations should be based on the child’s age and they should not be compared with other children. Question of “Did you cry?” makes them feel bad and discourses such as “There was kid in the class who cried but you didn’t, well done’ does not motivate them,”. Direktör finally pointed out the fact that each kid is different and each kid gain different abilities in different times and added that the parents should not forget that they are kids, and they should use “please” when they want the child to do something.